Dear Bill Collectors...

July 3, 2014


This is basically a guide for bill collectors to help you, and people in debt around the world out. Follow at least a couple of these tips and it may just improve your chances of doing your job, lessening some of yours and our stress, and getting the most out of your workday.

1) I Can't Understand You!
How do you expect me to pay you when I have no idea what you are saying? Then you get upset when I ask you to keep repeating yourself. There has to be some kind of hiring requirement that says we have to be able to understand what you are saying.
2) Stop Being So Pushy!
If I don't have it I don't have it, I'm not a magician, I can't turn lint into cash. If I could you wouldn't have a reason to call me, and no I don't have anyone I can ask to borrow money from to pay you. I already used them on my other bills.
3) Text Me!
I don't want to talk to you! (See #2). You are making me miss important calls that I avoid thinking its you. Your best chance of reaching me is texting me your offer.   
4) Don't EVER Call My Job!
This is the quickest way to get your feelings hurt, make me lose my religion, and possibly the job that carries the only means of me ever paying you anything. I'm busy! I don't have time to make monetary decisions or setup a payment while my boss is watching me thinking I'm taking personal calls on the clock. Besides... My coworkers know that anyone that calls asking for me automatically gets a dial-tone because anyone that knows me knows to call my cell phone or text me.
5) Talk To Me Like A Person, Not A Commission!  
If you talk down to me like you are better than me or like you've made all the best monetary decisions in your life the conversation will not end well for you. If you are understanding of the fact that life is not always easy or black and white then although I more than likely don't have the money now, we may be able to set up some kind of payment plan. 
6) Stop Making Empty Threats!
You are not going to arrest me. Debt is a civil crime not a criminal crime. If anything you are violating the FDCPA, for making empty threats. YOU should be arrested! 
7) Stop Calling Me Everyday Repeatedly! 
9 out of 10, if I didn't answer the 30 times you called me yesterday then I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER TODAY EITHER! That's harassment! 
8) Don't Call Me Acting Like You Know Me Or Like We Are Friends!
My mamma never even called me by my full first name unless a belt was not far behind it. We are not cool. We won't be hanging out after you collect my debt. Let it go!
9) Don't Think Because You Change Your Number It Will Make A Difference!
If you followed at least 4 of the 8 tips you probably wouldn't have gotten blocked. Changing your number and continuing to do the same thing won't help either. My blocking powers are unlimited. I can do this all day. I call blocked a bill collector, they changed the very last digit in the number and called me back! Take a hint! Nothing has changed since you called me from the previous number. 
10) Them Fees Tho... Seriously!?
If I couldn't pay you the $200 I owed you, what makes you think I will be able to pay the extra $500 you tacked on in random fees?

So all in all there are ways to make yours and our lives a little easier. We understand that we owe you money, all we ask for is a little understanding. How would you want someone to step to you if you were in our shoes. Its not rocket science. You always get more with honey than vinegar. Just be considerate!

 

Do You Accept The Negativity That Has Been Placed Into Your Life? (4/11/14)

April 19, 2014
terms of agreement

So today I was ministering to a couple at my job. When you are a bartender, sometimes you have to play the role of a therapist. This lady and her husband walked in. I greeted them and we began talking. After going through the formalities, I asked how her day was going. Now the normal person would say fine, but something led her to express what was really on her heart. She was explaing to me how she and her husband had just came back from the Doctors office and received some bad news pe...


Continue reading...
 

Trinidad James Straightens His Hair…Why Lord? (4.29.13)

May 18, 2013

Yuck! There are so many things that I find absolutely disturbing about this picture. What is it with Hip Hop that makes all of the males become feminine? Trinidad James is the latest victim in this foolery. Now, i’m not trying to be mean, but James was already and ugly man, and now he’s an even uglier woman. With his hair styled this way that exactly what he is. Trinidad James is now a woman. I’m going to start calling him Trina James. Whose bright idea was it t...


Continue reading...
 

What Rappers Pray About (2.27.13)

March 25, 2013


Dear God,

Please let me get a deal. I promise not to join The Illuminati. I swear I’m special and have something to offer the world. I listen to Tupac everyday, and I feel like I’m the next one. I’m not just another one of these rappers out here making dance music. What I got to say is real. I’m out here writing these real rhymes, and keeping it 100 all day everyday.

Lord, I be in the studio all the time making these hits for the word to hear. I just need them to hear m...


Continue reading...
 

Making a Name for Yourself (1.31.12) (Exclusive)

March 25, 2013
  I decided to write this article for all of you music enthusiast. Most of you are artist, and I feel that this issue needs to be addressed. Many times people hop into the music industry because it’s a fad, and all of their friends are doing it. People even go as far as to making these make shift studios, and actually recording a few songs. They get a buzz, they’re feeling happy, and wa-la, they think that record labels should be calling.

    Now, most of the time, this does not happen. ...


Continue reading...
 

Has Hip Hop Gone Gay? (1.22.13)

March 25, 2013





Ok seriously, like what the hell is going on? Everyday that I turn on my TV, and log onto these blogs, i’m seeing something a little fishy going on with these so called gangster rappers. I’m glad the baggy clothe era is gone, but geesh, I will take baggy clothes over men wearing skirts anyday. What is going on with Hip Hop? You can’t rap about getting bitches in your song, if all you’re going to do is turn around and look like one.
We all remember th...

Continue reading...
 

Sonrize


www.sonrizemusic.net Hip Hop Recording Artist

Comedian Kirby


www.1funnychick.com Comedian/Blogger for 1funnychick.com
If you like the blogs by Comedian Kirby check out

Translate This Page

Make a Free Website with Yola.